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FounderCulture

On Giving and Receiving Effective Feedback to your CEO, Execs, Manager, Peers, and Direct Reports

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Why learning to give & receive feedback matters so much for the success of your company:

Your most important asset is your people. They are also likely the most expensive line item on your company's P&L. So getting your team to be as aligned as possible will help you work together as effectively as possible — a really important endeavor to successfully scale your company.

  • These skills apply for giving feedback to everyone from your CEO all the way down through the intern who just started at your company.
💡Teaching a team at an early-stage company to give and receive feedback effectively is also an MVP of a performance management system. And it's free — it only requires training. So before you're ready to buy an expensive and complex performance management system, teach your team these skills. It'll serve you well.
⚠️ An often overlooked step is ensuring you have the right people working at your organization in the first place. Learn about why Why Defining "Shared Values" in Your Company Matters So Much The better your recruiting & interviewing process is, the more aligned your team will be when they work together.

Best-Practices: How to Give Effective Feedback:

  • Intention — if you're giving difficult feedback
  • Check with yourself:
  • am I giving this feedback to help this person grow?
  • am I giving this feedback to find a better way to work together?
  • Is the answer yes?
  • Reframe this internally from “this could hurt” to “I’m fighting for you”
  • Is the answer no?
  • This doesn't make you a bad human, it just means that right now is not the time to give feedback. Thoughts could cross your mind like
  • I'm going to teach this person a lesson! I'll show them
  • I've had it up to here with this behavior
  • Logistics
  • If it's during a regularly scheduled time for feedback, like a 1:1, you don't need to ask if now is a good time, since it's understood that it's a time for feedback
  • Slack vs Audio note vs Video call
  • If on a call outside of scheduled feedback:
  • “Have some feedback for you, is now a good time?”
  • Emotional state
  • If you’re reacting / the other person is reacting, (re)schedule feedback for later
  • Generally, feedback is most helpful when it’s about a pattern
  • Be aware if something is an aberration or the norm
  • If it’s outside of the norm, it's a good opportunity to check something out

Process for Giving Feedback in Real Time

  1. Ask permission: I have some feedback for you, is now a good time?
  2. If the answer is yes, proceed
  3. If the answer is no, schedule a time that works for both parties
  4. Give your observation and share the data in “I” statements, like:
  5. Such as
  6. I noticed that …
  7. I saw that …
  8. I heard you say …`
  9. Be specific, clear, and neutral
  10. Example
  11. I saw that you Slacked the engineers this morning in the #incident channel to say "Why haven't you fixed this bug yet?!"
  12. Optional: Acknowledge the perceived positive intent: I imagine your intent here is to make sure our users have a good experience with our product
  13. Make it clear why you’re giving this feedback. Here’s why that matters to our team / department / company…
  14. Examples
  15. We've agreed as a company to keep Level 2 & 3 conversations (as per The Three Levels of Conversation ) off Slack and I'm concerned about how this will land with engineering
  16. You've asked me to give you feedback on your communication style, as this is one of your focus areas for personal growth.
  17. Here's what great would look like: If you checked in with engineering in a neutral tone, such as, "Hey all, what's the status of this bug?"
  18. Even better: If the communicator suggested a process or a tool that automatically communicates the status of a bug in the ticket. This is system-level thinking.
  19. Make sure the person heard what you said, using the The Active Listening Framework.
  20. Can you tell me what you’re hearing me say?
  21. Pro tip: Have the other party paraphrase what you say at each step
👌 Pro tip: Have the receiver paraphrase you at each step. This lightens the load on the receiver and can help them be more present for the process as opposed to being stuck in the mindset of "I have to repeat all this back!"
💡 Note: You will almost be guaranteed to have to do a few active listening rounds here — keep going until you’re both clear on what the feedback is. Super important to make sure that the receiver of the feedback is accurately hearing it.
  1. Check in with the receiver to see how they feel about it. How is that landing for you?
  2. Make sure you heard the receiver — What I'm hearing you say …
  3. Define (ideally together) how things will be different moving forward What can you / we do differently?
  4. Engage in collaborative problem-solving. Make an agreement together. And then check in on that agreement over time.
  5. As you're having this conversation, use the The Active Listening Framework to paraphrase each other and make sure you're on the same page
  6. Write this agreement down, ideally in a performance management space

Best-Practices: How to Receive Feedback:

  • Remember the person giving you the feedback is doing it because they care about you and/or the business. If they didn't care, they wouldn't spend their time on this. That's the intention. If you're not experiencing it that way, share your perspective on the process.
  • If the conversation gets heated, pause it and agree to come up with a time to revisit
  • Arrive with curiosity and enthusiasm
  • What does this look like? Use the The Active Listening Framework to paraphrase the feedback you received and ask any clarifying questions
  • Questions to ask yourself
  • How can I make the most of this feedback?
  • What can I learn?
  • How can I be fully present?
  • You don't have to agree with the feedback. But you'll be well served to validate the person's perspective. Remember that you can validate what someone's saying without agreeing with them.
  • Recognize the power of pattern recognition: If you don't agree with the feedback, but you've received similar feedback from various sources, reflect on what you're hearing and look for the truth within it.
  • Again: Check in with yourself — are you becoming activated? As says, it's best to "strike while the iron is cold." It might be best to pause and reconvene at a later time when you can have a more objective view.

Related resources:

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